friends and matches

I had a conversation with a friend of mine the other day

about this subject

and i have come to the realization

that friends are alot like matches

at the beginning of a friendship it is the brightest

and most intense it burns so bright and it's amazing

and you can use that flame to ignite candles or other

various things and it can brighten up your life

but if you hold on to the match too long it's gonna end

up burning you.

sometimes friends can be awesome

and help you and will consume so many parts of your

life and last forever it seems but sometimes

there are those you just have to let go

you have to let the flame burn out because if you don't

you're gonna get burned

be wise in your choices

everyone comes in and out of your life for a reason

cherish those that help consume your life and brighten up your life

but those that only last the duration of a match

learn from them but know when to let it go.

i hate goodbyes.

saying goodbye freaks me out

goodbye is terrifies me.

seriously. this is why i use phrases like

"see ya" or "be careful"

i mean i use the word "bye"

but i h a t e it

when people leave me just for the day it

it normally takes about 3 or 4 hugs to let them actually leave.

or if i'm ready to go sometimes i just disappear so i don't have to say it

its a problem i know.

but really i don't want to let anyone go

the people i let in my life

or let close to me are people i want with me for always

and when they have to go it sends me into shut down mode.

i'm not quite sure why i'm saying all this but its true.

i h a t e goodbye.

birds.

freedom.

Birds and cages have been a big obsession lately.

i'm so intrigued by the whole image of it

the concept of being in caged and trapped.

the thought of this beautiful creature

some with talent of speaking and or singing

is locked inside for someone else's entertainment

seems almost unthinkable and overwhelming

this isn't a blog devoted to saving the birds but

think about it in terms of your own life

as in

are you locked inside a cage?

what is your cage?

fear?

doubt?

insecurity?

depression?

you just as birds were not meant to be caged

BREAK OUT.

one sweet girl i've been connected with gives me hope in the thought

of being a bird in a sense

she is like unto a blue bird

the symbolism in blue birds is:

"cheerfulness, happiness, prosperity, hearth and home, good health, new births, the renewal of springtime"

this describes her entirely.

she walks with her head held high

smile on her face

dressed like a lady

her lifestyle affects people that she doesn't even know

she is an encourager

she is beautiful

but as a bird she is free spirited

she is gifted and she must fly and be free

she must do what her heart desires

she has an unlimited number of paths to spread her wings

but she will know

in her heart soon enough

where her wings may take her

and in that moment she will be free.

break out.

love you,

abh

insanely hypnotic

I have found that any song that starts with a constant piano

piece i become addicted.

songs like

"hometown glory"

-adele

"glitter in the air"

-pink

"gravity" sara bareilles

"breathe me"

- sia

"blue lips"

-regina spektor

it's crazy how hypnotic they can

be i can repeat them over

and over again

not really get sick of them

"They started

off beneath an olive tree

And they chopped it down to make a picket fence

And marching along the railroad tracks

They smiled real wide for the camera lens

As they made it past the enemy lines

Just to become enslaved in the enemy lines"

-Regina Spektor

"Help, I have done it again

I have been here many times before

I hurt myself again today

And, the worst part is there's no-one else to blame"

-Sia

I live here on my knees

As I try to make you see

That you're everything I think I need

Here on the ground

But you're neither friend nor foe

Though I can't seem

to let you go the one thing that I still know

Is that you're keeping me down

You're keeping me down

-Sara Bareilles

I like it in the city when the air

is so thick and opaque

I love to see everybody in short skirts, shorts and shades I like it in the city when two worlds collide You get the people and the government

-Adele

Have you ever hated yourself for staring at the phone?

You’re whole life waiting on the ring to prove you’re not alone

Have you Ever been touched so gently you had to cry?

Have you ever invited a stranger to come inside?

-pink

have you ever?

Have you ever fed a lover with just your hands?

Close your eyes and trust it, just trust it

Have you ever thrown a fist full of glitter in the air?

Have you ever looked fear in the face

And said I just don't care?

It's only half past the point of no return

The tip of the iceberg, the sun before the burn

The thunder before lightning, the breath before the phrase

Have you ever felt this way?

Have you ever hated yourself for staring at the phone?

Your whole life waiting on the ring to prove you're not alone

Have you ever been touched so gently you had to cry?

Have you ever invited a stranger to come inside?

It's only half past the point of oblivion

The hourglass on the table, the walk before the run

The breath before the kiss and the fear before the flames

Have you ever felt this way?

La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la

There you are, sitting in the garden

Clutching my coffee, calling me sugar

You called me sugar

Have you ever wished for an endless night?

Lassoed the moon and the stars and pulled that rope tight

Have you ever held your breath and asked yourself

Will it ever get better than tonight? Tonight

-glitter in the air-pink

the next best thing

I want a bike.

really bad

seriously.

i used to ride my bike ALL the time when

i was a kid

now... not so much

and it frustrated me.

but i want an old school bike

v i n t a g e

Yes.

i love them

buy me one and ill love you

always

Fanfarlo-Broken charger

Good Afternoon all!

Sorry for the delayed post.

my charger stopped working.

yeah, pretty much very bitter about this.

because i have two papers to write and photo shoots to be transferred to cd's

and can't do that without a working charger.

well, some good things have happened.

i was working friday and all then sudden

fanfarlo

walks in the door.

awesome band. awesome guys.

above:me and the boys

and the band in all: below

So thats all for this post.

i'll be posting more in a few hours now that

aaron let me have his charger until mine comes in on

thursday.

love love love

<3

Thursdays.

Such a random day. its literally the MIDDLE of the week.

it brings you to that is the cup half full or half empty type of things

is the week half over or just beginning.

I've never liked those sort of terms.

smack dab middle thursday again not what i'm about to talk about.

Happiness. is what i'm here to talk about.

You are in charge of your happiness.

YOU determine it.

It's a state of mind.

If you are unhappy with your life Y O U are in charge of changing it

no one else.

If you are unhappy where you are living Y O U are in charge of making

the decision to leave. no one else.

its YOUR happiness =)

The fray said, "Happiness is like the old man told me

Look for it, but you'll never find it all "

You can't go fishing in a pond for love and think that if you

find a good catch it will determine your happiness.

because it will. but only for a short time then the "happiness" aka bliss

with fizzle out and your left upset and hurt because you were

never happy with yourself or happy in general.

Lo and i had this conversation a while back...

LOVE YOURSELF.

respect YOURSELF.

because yes we have our family thats supposed to love us

unconditionally and always be in our corner, "best friends" that

are supposed to last forever.

But truth is on this earth there is no forever.

The only person with you forever is YOU.

So you have to be your personal motivator.

your own encourager.

because you can't count on everyone else to be that for you.

only the man upstairs can truly help.

but basically you have to be happy with yourself before you can make anyone else happy